The No Good

Writing about the no good, very bad days that we all have from time to time today. Because everyone has bad days and I know that in most of my posts it looks like we just go along all sunshine and rainbows, lollipops in hand, singing like the Von Trap family. Yeah righ!

There are days that ECJ with his teenage hormones, ADHD, lack of impulse control, and general attitude gets the whole house in an uproar! He's downloaded something he shouldn't have, he's online looking at things he aught not be looking at, he's opened an account that he didn't ask permission to open, he's talking to people online who aren't really good for him to be talking to. Do you see the pattern with him? His main issue is the darned Internet and his electronic use. We end up dealing with why he can't talk to so and so, no he really doesn't need that account and just whose credit card was he thinking of entering to use it (really?!?!?), his report is due for Literature and Composition and he hasn't even cracked the book open yet. YUP. That's right. We have a teenage boy in the house. One who sometimes yells at his sisters to get out of his room and then complains the next day that they won't hang out with him. One who goes outside to skateboard with the neighbor kid and forgets to take his phone while deciding to skate down to the park without informing us. One who likes to push every boundary there is with Mom and Dad just to see what he can get away with today because you know some days it's just not worth the argument.

There are also days that YCJ gets hormonal and pouts, screams, and cries over any little thing that happens. There's one extra math problem today than yesterday, I've asked her to write the sentences in English instead of just the words that need changed, she's just feeling like we're all against her for no apparent reason. YUP. She's an eleven year old girl who is just learning how to deal with all of the hormones going through her body right now. One minute she enjoys playing with her little sister or older brother and the next she's screaming that they drive her up the wall. One minute she's all hugs and sunshine and the next she's like that girl from Exorcist . This is how her life is at the moment and it means that most days we roll with the punches but some days we want to throw a temper tantrum too! A lot of her frustration in school work has to do with her dyslexia and how it can make reading something simple into something really hard that day. Sometimes she's just over tired and wanting some more rest. And some days she doesn't care what the reason is we're all trying to get on her nerves and driving her crazy! We have times when there's girl drama going on between her and her friends in the neighborhood, so and so is being bossy ... or so and so won't listen to her ideas which are so much better! You get the idea.

Then it comes to the youngest member of our camping troupe. Peanut. Oh Peanut. She's highly functioning autistic and legally blind. Most days she's an angel with lots of ideas, plenty to show us, making us laugh and smile. But there are days when she just can't handle ANYTHING! She blows her top and punches her brother in the eye, yanks her sister's hair, screams at me ... only to minutes later be crying that she did that. It's all part of life with her challenges. Living life with autism on any level isn't just a challenge for the child it's a challenge for the entire family. What do you mean that you forgot your entire alphabet? (Yes, it happened and we spent last year going through everything from her preschool books up through first grade ... which is why she's in second grade this year and not last year.) It's a challenge to know what curriculum is going to work with her... will it be visually stimulating enough, fun enough, challenging enough, and yet still be able to be dropped for a few days if she goes into her bad days.

And of course you have us parents and the animals. Seriously there are some days that we really just want to scream until no sound comes out anymore. We're not saints ... far from it! Our children stress us out, confuse and confound us, drive us crazy, AND make us proud. We're a normal every day family. No there's no phone calls from the school administration to deal with if one of the campers acts up ... but there's late night conversations between teacher and principal (read mom and dad there) on what we need to change and what we can continue, should we really expect so much out of ECJ and just what was he thinking when he .... (whatever it is he did that week). We don't always agree, and a lot of the time we compromise. We hit ruts with our camper while pulling into what we thought was a comfortable campsite only to find out that it's not as flat and comfy as we'd thought.

So ... we don't always have a no good, very bad days ... there's not always a runt when we're going into our campsite ... and we're not always nice to each other. We're just like every other family out there. Unique with our own problems but when you look at the basics we're all really the same. It doesn't matter if you send your kids to a brick and mortar school, an online public school, school at home, or even totally crunchy unschool. We all have bad days and good days. It's in how we handle it that makes us who we are. Hopefully with a little gentle guiding all of our children can grow up to be well adjusted adults who can think for themselves and raise our grandchildren in ways that make us proud.