My Dream

When I was younger people would come up to me and ask me what my dreams were for the future. What did I want to be when I grew up? My normal answer was, "I want to be a wife and a mother." And sometimes this was smiled at and sometimes people would respond with, "But, what do you want to DO?" Yeah. I wanted to be a wife and a mother. That was it. That was all. I didn't care if I continued my education or not, had a career or not, nothing that most of my friends were saying that they wanted. I simply wanted to be a wife and a mother. By High School when asked I'd answer with something like, "Oh, I plan on having it all. A good husband, some kids, and maybe I'll be a nurse." I didn't want to go to nursing school. I didn't care what job I got if any. I just wanted to be a wife and a mother and because of how people acted when I said that I thought that there was something wrong with me and I should be wanting more.

I even attempted going to college ... twice! But neither time did I stick with it because I just really wasn't interested in being a nurse (what I went to college to try to be both times I went to college). I have about two years of college education behind me but nothing much to show for it because I just didn't want it. I did take a course and became a Certified Nurses Aide right before YCJ was born and I enjoyed that. But, I got too attached to the patients at the nursing home I worked for. I tried working in home health care but I had the same problem. Health care obviously wasn't for me. I enjoy taking care of people but not for pay. 

YCJ was two when I got married to her Daddy. We'd both been through a divorce before and had set a time line before we'd marry each other of being together longer than either of our previous marriages had lasted before we got married. I then got caught up in not only being a mother but a wife and full time homemaker. I enjoy having a clean house, making my husband happy, and raising my children. By the time YCJ was six and a half we knew we'd be bringing them home from public school to be homeschooling them. And nothing could have made me happier than the thought of having my children home with me and learning everything they could without the stigma of worrying if they were "normal" or if something was "wrong" with them if they didn't fit in with their age group.

And believe it or not y'all I didn't realize that I'd met my goal of being that wife and that mother until just last week! I've been with my husband for fourteen years now last week, this summer we'll have been married for an entire decade, and I've been a mother for nearly half of my life! I have what I wanted when I was younger. I have children who love and respect me (until hormones kick in and then it's eye rolls and attitudes but that's normal lol), I have a husband who cherishes me and treats me like a queen, I have what I set out to have. Now, I get to enjoy that every single day without people looking at me cross eyed because I didn't want a career. My family and friends all know that I've gotten what I wanted. Could I want more? Of course I could! More money, more children (I can no longer have children), more more more and more. But, I am content and happy with what I have. We live on a budget and that's fine with me.

This fall I might expand my dream a little bit and go back to school. Not for health care this time. I am thinking that I'd like to get a degree in teaching because it's something that I enjoy. I have ten more years of homeschooling (and probably a bit more with Peanut as she's only in second grade so we might have 11 more years of homeschooling to do) and I know I'll still want to teach. Not at the college level but at the elementary level where you see those light bulbs go off over the students head a lot more often. And it's not that I'm wanting more or am changing my dream. I was lucky enough to get my dream and now I'd like to help children find their dreams.